uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
