I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
