I like my sex mixed with concussions.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
