she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
