Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
