i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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