If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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