After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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