What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Pants are for mortals
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
