she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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