i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
