Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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