We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
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