told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
