i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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