Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
