I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
