You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
