ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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