He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
