Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
