How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
