A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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