Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
