i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
BRING THE BAGELS
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
