I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
