once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize