He is an equal opportunity slut.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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