ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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