is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
