Reggie can tackle my bush.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize