Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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