So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
