Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
