My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
