i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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