dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize