when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
