She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
