Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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