your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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