JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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