Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I can text with my tongue
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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