Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have fence marks all over my body
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
