Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
