Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
