Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
