I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
