Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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