Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
