what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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