Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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