He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
