i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Randomize
