spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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