Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I think a kid would responsible me up
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
