u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
