My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
