she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
3pm strippers are depressing
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
