you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
