Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
