you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
