Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
